The Thursday before conference weekend I got up and went to work, ready for another great day! About 1230 that afternoon I started to get a stomach ache but figured it would go away when I ate lunch. I took my lunch break a little later, but my food wasn't settling well, so I laid on the couch until I absolutely had to get back to work. With a few more hours left I said a prayer, asking for strength to make it through the day and to not be in so much pain, as my stomach ache was getting to be more and more painful. Somehow I was able to finish the day and as soon as I got home I climbed into bed. I was starting to become worried that something was really wrong with me. The pain seemed to be radiating to the lower right quadrant of my abdomen, right where the appendix lies. When Kevin got home from work he could see how miserable I was. We decided it would be best to get to the doctor quickly just in case this was serious so we headed to the ER.
After sitting in the waiting room for an hour, hardly able to sit up straight and in unbearable pain, we were finally taken back. As soon as they could get an IV in me I was given some morphine for the pain and then life got a little better :). The ER doctor tried to tell me I was just constipated which made me mad because I knew I wasn't, but he ordered a CAT Scan to rule out appendicitis, just in case. Thankfully that wasn't the case, however, my intestines were really inflamed, I had a fever and my heart rate was elevated, so the doctor admitted me to the hospital. He said I most likely had some sort of infection and it was related to my stomach pain. I was taken to the 5th floor and finally around 130am Kevin and I were left alone to get some rest. That's hardly possible in the hospital but I had a fresh dose of morphine in my system and slept for a few hours.
Friday afternoon a GI (stomach) doctor visited me, took a history and said he thought I might have Crohn's Disease, based on my CAT Scan and the 8 years of problems I have had with my stomach. He scheduled an Endoscopy and Colonoscopy for Saturday morning, put me on a clear liquid diet, yuck, and had the nurse bring me a gallon of nasty stuff to drink before the procedure to clean out my system. My parents came to visit me and brought me some beautiful flowers that became a bright spot among all the terrible things that seemed to be happening to me. They sat at the end of my bed and I loved looking at them. Kevin and Wayne also gave me a priesthood blessing that I would be okay and that the Lord loved me and He was watching over me. I am so grateful for the priesthood and the worthy men in my life that can administer those special blessings to me in times of sickness.
After my parents left I had the task of drinking this disgusting stuff. All I could think was why does this have to happen to me? I have had so many health problems, why this now? I just sat in my hospital bed and cried, feeling sorry for myself and wishing this was all a dream I could wake up from. Then I got a text message from Wayne, something he hardly does, "I'm glad you're feeling a little better today just keep going jug jug all afternoon and I will see you tomorrow." It made me smile and laugh and that's what I needed at that moment. Wayne is always in tune at those rough moments in life and is always there for me. I'm so fortunate he became a part of our lives 20 years ago when he married my mom. I love him so much!!
That evening two coworkers came to visit me which was so sweet of them. Then I spent the evening drinking away and trying to just focus on the positive. The next morning I was whisked away to the procedure room hoping and praying that the doctor would be able to figure out what was wrong so that I would be able to go home that afternoon. Come to find out, the procedure didn't tell us much because my intestines were so inflamed but the doctor felt pretty confident that he had seen Crohn's Disease in there. I cried the entire way back to my room. Even though it was finally an answer to several years of problems, I felt like a huge weight had been placed upon me. How was I supposed to deal with this? Why was this happening to me? Poor me, poor me. I was having all these negative thoughts again and just wanted it all to go away. When I got back to the room, Kevin, my parents and his parents were all waiting for me. It was great to have their support and feel their love at such a difficult time for Kevin and I. At the time I honestly just wanted a few minutes to process everything, but looking back, having them there was what I needed then. Before my parents left Wayne pulled out a package of chocolate licorice which totally made my day! Whenever we have surgery Wayne has always bought us chocolate licorice. I'm pretty sure it's a healer of many things haha. My in laws stayed and visited for awhile and since I was now able to eat real food, they offered to go and get me some frozen yogurt from Orange Leaf. They have two flavors that are lactose free and the orange is my absolute favorite! That froyo was the best thing I had during my entire stay at the hospital!! A little bit later the doctor came into visit with us and told me that I had an infection called C Diff and it was really contagious, so I needed to be in isolation and that I couldn't go home today. This meant that every person, besides Kevin, who came into my room had to wear a gown and gloves. I felt like a leper. Once things settled down, Kevin went home for a few hours and I finally was able to get some uninterrupted sleep. That really helped me to feel better. My mom came up that evening to sit with me and we just visited. She is so good to me and I love her so much!
Sunday finally rolled around and I was really hoping to go home. I had had a pretty good night and was feeling quite a bit better. We were waiting for the doctor to come in but knew it would be awhile, so we settled in and turned on the morning session of General Conference. The first talk was given by President Uchtdorf (here is the link https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng). It was a fantastic talk and EXACTLY what I needed to hear. "We can choose to be grateful, no matter what. This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer. When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace. We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain? Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges. This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind."
As I listened to those words I was overcome by the Spirit and knew that I had been dealing with this situation totally wrong. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I should've been grateful that I was finally being given some answers to the many questions and problems I had had for 8 years. The Lord wasn't going to abandon me now and I needed to be grateful and have more faith in Him and His power. My entire outlook on the situation changed and I was choosing to be grateful from here on out, no matter what.
The doctor came in after the session ended, and he said that I could go home!!! I was so happy and so ready to sleep in my own bed. Kevin was such a trooper, so patient and there for me whenever. I am so fortunate to have him in my life and I love him so much! I think he was just as exhausted as I was when Sunday rolled around.
We have a long road ahead of us and lots to learn but we will make it through! I just want to give a shout out to all of our family that helped us while in the hospital, with meals after I came home, prayers, and just an outstanding amount of support. We feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives.
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