Madelyn's Birth Story

Having a baby and becoming a mom are huge moments in our lives. I've waited for this moment for what has seemed like forever and words can't explain the feelings in my heart. I love Madelyn more than I ever imagined possible. Here is here birth story and the few weeks and events leading up to her early delivery.

At my 30 week check-up with the OB, my belly was measuring small and the doctor was concerned that there might be something wrong with the baby and so she sent us to a specialist to have her measured and evaluated. I really wasn't nervous and I didn't feel like there was anything to be worried about. I had known for several months that this baby girl was meant to come to earth and that she was strong and our little fighter. I had been blessed with a feeling of peace of mind numerous times and once again the overwhelming feeling of peace had filled my heart. We had a great experience with the specialist and any concerns or fears of ours were put at ease. They measured Madelyn through ultrasound and discovered that she was perfectly healthy in every way but she was pretty small for gestational age only weighing a tiny 2 pounds and 12 ounces. She was measuring small overall but especially in her abdominal area. I was 30 weeks and she was measuring just 9 days behind on her overall growth. The doctor wasn't concerned however and said that she wanted to re-measure her in 4 weeks and make sure things were still on track and hoped that the baby's growth wouldn't decrease anymore. Having survived and thrived through my bowel resection surgery and that ordeal, it wasn't a surprise that she was going to be a small baby. It's also common for women with chronic illnesses, like Crohn's Disease, to have small babies. Basically she said our baby would be healthy just small at birth. Whew!

As my 34 week appointment was approaching I was getting anxious to see how much she had grown. I knew my belly had so it must mean the baby had too right?? Well, at my 33 week appointment with the OB I was diagnosed with Pre-Eclampsia. This is a condition where my blood pressure is elevated and my kidneys deposit protein into my urine. This can be very dangerous to the mom and baby, and the only cure for it is delivery. It's quite common actually, especially in women who are pregnant for the first time. My doctor was very concerned at that point and I had to begin going in twice a week until the baby came to have an ultrasound to measure my amniotic fluid and blood flow in the placenta, a Non-Stress test (which is where they monitor the baby and any contractions I might be having) and check my blood pressure and urine. The doctor also talked to me about her concerns for the baby, especially with her being small, and said she wanted to induce at 37 weeks to hopefully prevent further complications. I was a wreck and so upset when she told me that because I was immediately scared and worried for my baby girl. I wanted to keep her in there as long as possible because I felt that was the safest place, where I could protect her and she could continue to grow and develop as she should. The only thing I knew to do at that point was pray. I prayed for peace and comfort and guidance. Was this the right thing to do? Was everything going to be okay still? I was immediately overcome with that all too familiar feeling that my baby girl would be okay and that delivery at 37 weeks was probably the best course of action. I was so grateful to have my family to turn to at that point, they have supported us so much throughout this entire pregnancy and I needed their faith and prayers to help me get through these next 3 weeks.

The following week I had my appointment with the specialist who said that delivery at 37 weeks may be a good idea. At that point Madelyn only weighed 3 pounds 10 ounces and was 3 weeks behind according to gestational age. She had however gained almost 1 pound over the past 4 weeks which was amazing! She wanted me to start coming in every week until delivery to measure my amniotic fluid and blood flow in the placenta, and then in 2 weeks we'd re-measure the baby's growth. As I was monitored over those next couple of weeks everything seemed to stay about the same, nothing improved but nothing worsened. The week I was scheduled to deliver Madelyn we went for our last growth ultrasound with the specialist. We had been praying diligently that Madelyn would grow as much as possible and continue to remain healthy. She miraculously measured about 4 pounds 10-12 ounces, meaning she had gained an entire pound in a 2 weeks!! And she was still healthy as can be! We were feeling especially blessed and less worried about her birth in a few days. We were very aware of the fact that she would most likely have to spend some time in the NICU due to her small size, but we could deal with that.

Well the day finally came and we were so excited to meet our baby girl...little did we know she wouldn't come for 34 hours!! I was given medication to induce labor and they had to monitor the baby closely because it can affect their heart rate quickly, especially in smaller babies. She tolerated the medication well for the most part. On Thursday I was doing pretty good, having contractions when we got to the hospital at 7am but I had no idea. Once medication was administered I started to feel them slightly but they weren't bad at all. As the day went on I continued to get more uncomfortable, but was holding off on the epidural as long as possible. At 5am Friday morning my doctor came in to break my water and I was given my epidural at that point. I was really feeling the contractions at this point. Getting the epidural wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be and it was awesome to not be in pain anymore! The plan for that day was to continue watching baby, start the Pitocin and hope that I dilated. As soon as the Pit was started the baby's heart rate dropped really fast and so they backed it off to a lower dose, put an oxygen mask on me and had me lay on my side. Her heart rate came right back up but at that point we knew it would be a long day because we couldn't increase the Pitocin very high or very quickly. By 4:00pm that day I was only dilated to a 5 and had been a 5 for several hours. I was so exhausted and miserable, especially because my epidural had worn off and I was feeling everything!! I wanted to hold my baby and at this rate it felt like I was never going to get to. I told the nurse I wanted a C-Section ASAP! (I admire women who have babies without medicine because that is something I never want to experience.) The nurse called my doctor and they started getting everything ready for a C-Section, including having Kevin suit up to go into the OR with me. The nurse also had the anesthesiologist come in to up my dose of the epidural and it helped give me some relief.

Kevin all suited up! He was trying to make me laugh by pulling the hat over his whole face...mission accomplished! He can always make me laugh, no matter what, which is one of my favorite qualities of his. I love him so much!

My mom insisted on taking a picture of me before going to the OR. I don't look near as good as Kevin lol.

They quickly got me into the OR but then it was just a waiting game. Everything was ready except for me. The doctor was waiting on antibiotics from the pharmacy still, but the biggest hold up was that the block they administered through my epidural wasn't making me go numb. I could feel them poking me and getting my stomach prepped. I was a little nervous but they kept saying lets give it 10 minutes. After the third dose of numbing medication I still wasn't numb, not even in the least, and so the only option at that point was to be put completely under anesthesia and Kevin had to leave the room since they were going to intubate me. Neither of us likes this option and it was hard on us for Kevin to leave, but I knew everything was going to be okay! Kevin was able to go into the nursery and be right there when they passed the baby through to get checked out. It doesn't seem fair that we had to miss out on those first moments with our baby. Kevin didn't get to watch her enter the world or cut the cord. I didn't get to hear her first cry and see the look on Kevin's face when they met for the first time. I feel like we were robbed of that precious time we will never get back. I am so grateful though that Kevin was able to be with her from the beginning and take care of her. Those are moments he will never forget!

The next thing I knew I woke up in recovery and there was a nurse talking to me. I was in a lot of pain and what they were giving me wasn't helping and so they got an order for me to have Demerol every 15 minutes plus additional pain medicine to try and get my pain under control. All of the drugs caused me to be very sleepy, and I've always had a difficult time coming out of the anesthesia as it is. The nurse kept telling me to just go to sleep and I would feel better but I couldn't. I kept asking the nurse questions about my baby and I wanted to see her so bad but I felt so awful. I was told that the baby was in the NICU and Kevin was with her but that she okay, just really small. Finally the nurse allowed my mom to come back into the recovery room and she told me what she knew about the baby and I got to see pictures of her! My mom and mother in law got to peek at the baby in the incubator for a quick second just before they wheeled her into the NICU. I was so happy inside but out of it at the same time. It wasn't until 3.5 hours later that I finally got to meet and hold my baby girl.

Madelyn Mae Barber was born at 5:32pm on November 6th. She weighed 4 pounds even and was 18.5 inches long. She was healthy as can be but due to her small size she had to spend at least 12 hours in the NICU to be monitored. Kevin was able to get some really good pictures of her after birth and I cherish them so much because I wasn't there.

This is one of my favorite pictures! She is so cute and little!

Luckily her lungs were healthy and so she didn't have to be on oxygen. Such a blessing!

Daddy was finally able to hold her and I love how they are just gazing up at each other. Man I wish I had been able to witness this sweet moment between father and daughter.

On her way to the NICU. She looks so tiny compared to the snot sucker next to her head lol.

It wasn't until about 9pm that I was finally feeling good enough to leave recovery and be wheeled down to the NICU. It was surreal laying there thinking I had a baby and I hadn't met her yet. As soon as we got into her room the nurse, who was awesome and our favorite nurse in the NICU, put the side of her bed down and I immediately reached out to touch her for the first time. I loved her so much and I had just me her.

Finally meeting my sweet baby girl!

She's perfect!

First family picture! Needless to say, this won't be going in a frame :)

First time I fed her but she really didn't like it

Another favorite picture of Madelyn!

Grandma Carolyn got to hold her that night as well

We waited a long time for this baby girl to come to us and we feel so grateful and blessed for her. She was meant to come to Earth and have a body. She had to endure a lot during the pregnancy due to my own health complications and she fought the whole time. I had at least 3 doctors tell me that she is a miracle because medically I should've lost the pregnancy a couple of times. I just keep wondering who she'll grow up to be and what her purpose in this life is. Having a child is such a wonderful, magical, crazy, hard, life changing moment and nothing can prepare you for it. Being a mother is so much better than I ever thought it would be and watching Kevin be a daddy is so fun! He loves Madelyn so much and they have a sweet little bond already.