Madelyn's Birth Story

Having a baby and becoming a mom are huge moments in our lives. I've waited for this moment for what has seemed like forever and words can't explain the feelings in my heart. I love Madelyn more than I ever imagined possible. Here is here birth story and the few weeks and events leading up to her early delivery.

At my 30 week check-up with the OB, my belly was measuring small and the doctor was concerned that there might be something wrong with the baby and so she sent us to a specialist to have her measured and evaluated. I really wasn't nervous and I didn't feel like there was anything to be worried about. I had known for several months that this baby girl was meant to come to earth and that she was strong and our little fighter. I had been blessed with a feeling of peace of mind numerous times and once again the overwhelming feeling of peace had filled my heart. We had a great experience with the specialist and any concerns or fears of ours were put at ease. They measured Madelyn through ultrasound and discovered that she was perfectly healthy in every way but she was pretty small for gestational age only weighing a tiny 2 pounds and 12 ounces. She was measuring small overall but especially in her abdominal area. I was 30 weeks and she was measuring just 9 days behind on her overall growth. The doctor wasn't concerned however and said that she wanted to re-measure her in 4 weeks and make sure things were still on track and hoped that the baby's growth wouldn't decrease anymore. Having survived and thrived through my bowel resection surgery and that ordeal, it wasn't a surprise that she was going to be a small baby. It's also common for women with chronic illnesses, like Crohn's Disease, to have small babies. Basically she said our baby would be healthy just small at birth. Whew!

As my 34 week appointment was approaching I was getting anxious to see how much she had grown. I knew my belly had so it must mean the baby had too right?? Well, at my 33 week appointment with the OB I was diagnosed with Pre-Eclampsia. This is a condition where my blood pressure is elevated and my kidneys deposit protein into my urine. This can be very dangerous to the mom and baby, and the only cure for it is delivery. It's quite common actually, especially in women who are pregnant for the first time. My doctor was very concerned at that point and I had to begin going in twice a week until the baby came to have an ultrasound to measure my amniotic fluid and blood flow in the placenta, a Non-Stress test (which is where they monitor the baby and any contractions I might be having) and check my blood pressure and urine. The doctor also talked to me about her concerns for the baby, especially with her being small, and said she wanted to induce at 37 weeks to hopefully prevent further complications. I was a wreck and so upset when she told me that because I was immediately scared and worried for my baby girl. I wanted to keep her in there as long as possible because I felt that was the safest place, where I could protect her and she could continue to grow and develop as she should. The only thing I knew to do at that point was pray. I prayed for peace and comfort and guidance. Was this the right thing to do? Was everything going to be okay still? I was immediately overcome with that all too familiar feeling that my baby girl would be okay and that delivery at 37 weeks was probably the best course of action. I was so grateful to have my family to turn to at that point, they have supported us so much throughout this entire pregnancy and I needed their faith and prayers to help me get through these next 3 weeks.

The following week I had my appointment with the specialist who said that delivery at 37 weeks may be a good idea. At that point Madelyn only weighed 3 pounds 10 ounces and was 3 weeks behind according to gestational age. She had however gained almost 1 pound over the past 4 weeks which was amazing! She wanted me to start coming in every week until delivery to measure my amniotic fluid and blood flow in the placenta, and then in 2 weeks we'd re-measure the baby's growth. As I was monitored over those next couple of weeks everything seemed to stay about the same, nothing improved but nothing worsened. The week I was scheduled to deliver Madelyn we went for our last growth ultrasound with the specialist. We had been praying diligently that Madelyn would grow as much as possible and continue to remain healthy. She miraculously measured about 4 pounds 10-12 ounces, meaning she had gained an entire pound in a 2 weeks!! And she was still healthy as can be! We were feeling especially blessed and less worried about her birth in a few days. We were very aware of the fact that she would most likely have to spend some time in the NICU due to her small size, but we could deal with that.

Well the day finally came and we were so excited to meet our baby girl...little did we know she wouldn't come for 34 hours!! I was given medication to induce labor and they had to monitor the baby closely because it can affect their heart rate quickly, especially in smaller babies. She tolerated the medication well for the most part. On Thursday I was doing pretty good, having contractions when we got to the hospital at 7am but I had no idea. Once medication was administered I started to feel them slightly but they weren't bad at all. As the day went on I continued to get more uncomfortable, but was holding off on the epidural as long as possible. At 5am Friday morning my doctor came in to break my water and I was given my epidural at that point. I was really feeling the contractions at this point. Getting the epidural wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be and it was awesome to not be in pain anymore! The plan for that day was to continue watching baby, start the Pitocin and hope that I dilated. As soon as the Pit was started the baby's heart rate dropped really fast and so they backed it off to a lower dose, put an oxygen mask on me and had me lay on my side. Her heart rate came right back up but at that point we knew it would be a long day because we couldn't increase the Pitocin very high or very quickly. By 4:00pm that day I was only dilated to a 5 and had been a 5 for several hours. I was so exhausted and miserable, especially because my epidural had worn off and I was feeling everything!! I wanted to hold my baby and at this rate it felt like I was never going to get to. I told the nurse I wanted a C-Section ASAP! (I admire women who have babies without medicine because that is something I never want to experience.) The nurse called my doctor and they started getting everything ready for a C-Section, including having Kevin suit up to go into the OR with me. The nurse also had the anesthesiologist come in to up my dose of the epidural and it helped give me some relief.

Kevin all suited up! He was trying to make me laugh by pulling the hat over his whole face...mission accomplished! He can always make me laugh, no matter what, which is one of my favorite qualities of his. I love him so much!

My mom insisted on taking a picture of me before going to the OR. I don't look near as good as Kevin lol.

They quickly got me into the OR but then it was just a waiting game. Everything was ready except for me. The doctor was waiting on antibiotics from the pharmacy still, but the biggest hold up was that the block they administered through my epidural wasn't making me go numb. I could feel them poking me and getting my stomach prepped. I was a little nervous but they kept saying lets give it 10 minutes. After the third dose of numbing medication I still wasn't numb, not even in the least, and so the only option at that point was to be put completely under anesthesia and Kevin had to leave the room since they were going to intubate me. Neither of us likes this option and it was hard on us for Kevin to leave, but I knew everything was going to be okay! Kevin was able to go into the nursery and be right there when they passed the baby through to get checked out. It doesn't seem fair that we had to miss out on those first moments with our baby. Kevin didn't get to watch her enter the world or cut the cord. I didn't get to hear her first cry and see the look on Kevin's face when they met for the first time. I feel like we were robbed of that precious time we will never get back. I am so grateful though that Kevin was able to be with her from the beginning and take care of her. Those are moments he will never forget!

The next thing I knew I woke up in recovery and there was a nurse talking to me. I was in a lot of pain and what they were giving me wasn't helping and so they got an order for me to have Demerol every 15 minutes plus additional pain medicine to try and get my pain under control. All of the drugs caused me to be very sleepy, and I've always had a difficult time coming out of the anesthesia as it is. The nurse kept telling me to just go to sleep and I would feel better but I couldn't. I kept asking the nurse questions about my baby and I wanted to see her so bad but I felt so awful. I was told that the baby was in the NICU and Kevin was with her but that she okay, just really small. Finally the nurse allowed my mom to come back into the recovery room and she told me what she knew about the baby and I got to see pictures of her! My mom and mother in law got to peek at the baby in the incubator for a quick second just before they wheeled her into the NICU. I was so happy inside but out of it at the same time. It wasn't until 3.5 hours later that I finally got to meet and hold my baby girl.

Madelyn Mae Barber was born at 5:32pm on November 6th. She weighed 4 pounds even and was 18.5 inches long. She was healthy as can be but due to her small size she had to spend at least 12 hours in the NICU to be monitored. Kevin was able to get some really good pictures of her after birth and I cherish them so much because I wasn't there.

This is one of my favorite pictures! She is so cute and little!

Luckily her lungs were healthy and so she didn't have to be on oxygen. Such a blessing!

Daddy was finally able to hold her and I love how they are just gazing up at each other. Man I wish I had been able to witness this sweet moment between father and daughter.

On her way to the NICU. She looks so tiny compared to the snot sucker next to her head lol.

It wasn't until about 9pm that I was finally feeling good enough to leave recovery and be wheeled down to the NICU. It was surreal laying there thinking I had a baby and I hadn't met her yet. As soon as we got into her room the nurse, who was awesome and our favorite nurse in the NICU, put the side of her bed down and I immediately reached out to touch her for the first time. I loved her so much and I had just me her.

Finally meeting my sweet baby girl!

She's perfect!

First family picture! Needless to say, this won't be going in a frame :)

First time I fed her but she really didn't like it

Another favorite picture of Madelyn!

Grandma Carolyn got to hold her that night as well

We waited a long time for this baby girl to come to us and we feel so grateful and blessed for her. She was meant to come to Earth and have a body. She had to endure a lot during the pregnancy due to my own health complications and she fought the whole time. I had at least 3 doctors tell me that she is a miracle because medically I should've lost the pregnancy a couple of times. I just keep wondering who she'll grow up to be and what her purpose in this life is. Having a child is such a wonderful, magical, crazy, hard, life changing moment and nothing can prepare you for it. Being a mother is so much better than I ever thought it would be and watching Kevin be a daddy is so fun! He loves Madelyn so much and they have a sweet little bond already.

Introducing Madelyn Mae Barber






11/6/15 the first time Daddy got to hold her. How precious! He was smitten immediately! I'm so grateful he was able to be with her after birth since I wasn't able to. He's a wonderful daddy! I love how they are just looking at each other, trying to figure it all out.

11/6/15 The first time I got to hold her. It was such a sweet experience. She just gazed into my eyes. Although I wasn't feeling very good still and was quite drugged, I just needed to meet my baby!



11/6/2015 the first time I got to feed my sweet little girl. She didn't take the bottle well but we gave it a shot.



11/6/15 Madelyn Mae Barber 4 pounds even and 18 inches long
Kevin was able to be with Madelyn while I was still in surgery and then recovery, and so he got some really good pictures of her. This one is a favorite of mine. Her little cry is just adorable!

11/6/15 getting checked out after birth. Her Apgar's were excellent and so they decided to keep her in the NICU for at least 12 hours to monitor her blood sugars, body temp regulation and her feeding. She had a little bit of a cone head because she had moved down to the birth canal but it was gone by the next day.



11/6/2015 Just as perfect and innocent as ever! (thanks Grandma Carolyn for capturing this photo)



11/6/2015



11/7/2015

11/7/15 She had to be moved into an incubator in the middle of the night because she wasn't maintaining her body temps. So here she is just resting, sporting her cute little bow!

11/8/2015 Yesterday they discovered Madelyn has jaundice and so she gets to be under the bili light until her levels come down. They've come down a little bit in the past 24 hours but they will wait until Tuesday morning to recheck them again. She is really styling in her cute little glasses.

11/8/2015 Me and my sweet girl!



11/8/2015 Mom is finally feeling better today and we were able to get a decent family picture! I just love my little family so much!

 

More details and information to come later but here are some pictures of our sweet baby girl! We love her so much and are so grateful she is a part of our family. It was a long, hard couple of days to get her here and we are just so grateful for the many blessings we've received. We would appreciate any prayers in her behalf. We're hoping she can come home within the next week!

July

Rather than do a bunch of little posts about our summer adventures I will break it down month by month since I'm so far behind! July is probably my favorite month of the year. It always contains my birthday, the 4th of July and usually several fun family reunions. Since I was off work for the first 2 weeks and finally starting to feel somewhat normal we took advantage of the free time to make some memories.

4th of July
The day before the 4th Kevin had a paid holiday and we took a drive up through palisades and on to Jackson Hole. We didn't go up there for anything specific, just to get away for a few hours and since there were a million people in Jackson we just ended up driving around the town, eating lunch, and then driving home. We couldn't even find a close enough parking spot to get out and walk around. It was pretty to drive up there though. After we got back from there Natalee and I went to get pedicures, it became a fun girls outing for us this spring/summer! We had planned to get fireworks on our toes and somehow Natalee came out with flowers instead haha. It is so nice and relaxing to do that and seriously, treating ourselves occasionally to something like that is good for the soul.

The typical Jackson Hole photo lol

The morning of the 4th we drove up to Menan to attend their awesome parade. It's something the Barber's do each year and it's a pretty good parade and you get tons of candy too. This year we invited Natalee and Adam to come and bring their kids and they also really enjoyed it. Then we walked over to the park and ate some food and the kids played some games. It was getting pretty hot outside though and I was ready to be in the AC and take a rest. That afternoon we relaxed and then we headed down to the river to watch the fireworks with Natalee and Adam and some of their friends. It was a great day and so fun!

Brody and his little friend Maelee playing with glow sticks while waiting for the fireworks to start.

 July 9th-11th
This was a wonderful day because we found out the gender of our baby, a GIRL!!!!! I have known since early in my pregnancy that we would have a girl but Kevin was holding out for a boy. Since it was also our 20 week appointment we had our growth ultrasound and she measured at 19 weeks 6 days, so she was spot on and doing great! We told our families that weekend. We did the same reveal for each family. It was perfect timing too because Kevin's brother from Arizona was here as well as my dad and all of his family so we got everyone in one weekend. My birthday was a great day and we spent it with our families. Kevin bought me maternity clothes, which was actually fun to get, and they are so much more comfortable!! In Kevin's family, each of his siblings has had a boy first and I was really wanting to break that tradition and have a girl first. Kevin was a little disappointed but I know he is going to love this baby girl more than he could ever imagine. I'm sure there's a boy or two that will come to our family in the future!



19 weeks and very excited to find out the gender. Also, it's nice to have a little baby bump now!

Our baby girl at 20 weeks!!!

Boy or Girl?????

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!

Bear Lake
We always look forward to our annual Bear Lake trip and this year we had to cut it short because I had no vacation time at work (imagine that lol). We were able to go for 1.5 days though and it was fun! We got down there the first day and it was so hot! We got camp set up and then went to play in the water until it was time for dinner. That night we sat around the fire and played cards too. The next day we all got up, excited to go back to the water. Kevin and I were going home that night after dinner and so we decided to pack up our tent and everything so we didn't have to later, everyone else headed to the beach. The wind was coming up a little but we didn't think anything of it but suddenly a huge gust of wind came and since we were in the middle of taking our tent down it, it only had a few stakes in the ground, it was now just a matter of wrestling with it to get it in the bag. The storms at Bear Lake come up really strong and suddenly and can really do a job on campers, tents, awnings, basically anything haha. The wind was so bad it was blowing sand on the beach everywhere, causing everyone to come back up to camp and secure everything or take it down. The rest of the day was cold and windy and definitely not beach weather. We all put our warmest clothes on and then hung out in the trailers, playing cards and eating. We decided to go up to the Minitonka Caves and take a tour. Well it was pretty cold in there and since I couldn't wear jeans very easily I had only packed sweats and managed to not pack any socks. My feet were numb by the time we got done with the tour but it was worth it and I warmed back up pretty fast. After dinner we headed home and went back to work the next day. It wasn't the most fun year at Bear Lake for us but definitely memorable!

Inside the cave

  

Yep, I was freezing!

Some other fun events from July are pictured below. 

Got to have lunch with two of my best friends from high school, Annalee and Michle! It was great to see them!!

Got to have dinner with another best friend from high school Lindsay!!! She came to visit me at work as well before she went home to Illinois. I wish she lived closer but it's always great to see her!! Oh and I look terrible in this picture so just don't look haha. .

Kevin played on a city basketball league in June and July. He had a great time playing and it was pretty fun to go watch him. His team did pretty good but didn't make it to the playoffs. He is number 45. 

I have been trying to take baby bump pictures each week and it's fun to look back and compare photos to see how my belly grows from week to week.

July 30th
We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary this year. We both had to work and so we went to dinner the night before. Kevin's last basketball game fell on our anniversary and I had a work dinner to go to before the game started. We did get ice cream after his game though so we spent some time together at least! We don't do gifts for each other and usually get a couples massage every year. We have yet to get those massages but at least we spent the evening together! It's been quite the ride and I can't wait to see what else is in store for us!

 

All about Kevin

I figured that Kevin deserved an entire post about him now! Without Kevin I don't know what I would do. He is so kind and compassionate and took great care of me through this whole experience. I am so grateful he is worthy to hold the Priesthood and that I can call on him whenever I need a blessing, it's great. He is an amazing husband and I can't wait to raise our daughter with him, he is going to be the sweetest, most fun daddy to her.

June 18th was looking to be a great day for us. I was able to get out for a little while and go to a movie with my parents. Shortly after getting situated in the theatre I sent Kevin a text to let him know where I was since there was a chance he would get home before me. He just said okay and to have fun. Well, about thirty minutes later, Kevin was at work taking old glass out of aluminum frames and a piece of glass went flying into his shin and cut it open! It went right to his bone and he knew he would need stitches. His co-worker Ben was there with him and he drove Kevin to Redicare to get stitches. Kevin didn't want to disturb me at the movie and so he decided he would just tell me later since it wasn't that bad. He ended up getting 10 stitches.

The gash

All stitched up

When I got home from the movie I thought it was odd that I hadn't heard from Kevin but figured he was working late. Around 6 I still hadn't heard from him so I text him and he was on his way home. After getting home and seeing his shin bandaged up I finally got to learn what had happened. At first I was mad that he hadn't told me right away but quickly realized how sweet it was of him to allow me to enjoy the movie instead of having to leave early or sitting there worrying the whole time. He really is so sweet and I'm so lucky to call him mine!

That night we had an appointment with a member of our bishopric. We weren't sure what it was about but I guessed that we were going to be called to be primary teachers. I was WRONG! Kevin was asked to serve as the second counselor in the Young Men's presidency. I think I was more excited about it than Kevin because I've always felt that would be a good fit for him. He accepted the call to serve of course and was sustained and set apart that Sunday. Serving brings many blessings and opportunities into our lives and we are grateful for this experience.

June: Part 3 Life Post Hospital/Surgery

After spending 9 days in the hospital going home was a wonderful blessing and I was so happy to be there! The next week was full of doctor appointments and eating all of the time it felt like. I was still very weak and doing much of anything took a lot of energy which meant I had to take a lot of rests. I had a routine, well somewhat of one, and it worked pretty well. Kevin works Monday-Friday and so each morning he would get ready for work and then get me my breakfast and all of my pills. Then I usually fell back to sleep awhile longer, unless I had to get up for an appointment. My mom would come over each day and help me get ready and do whatever I needed her to do. Due to my staples and somewhat open incision, I wasn't allowed to get my abdominal area wet and so showering proved to be challenging, but I got that down to a science too. She was once again, a life saver! Not only was it nice to have some company but she helped me to feel normal again, taking me to Kohl's or on her errands with her. And sometimes just to the shaved ice shack (my favorite summer treat) to get me out of the house to have a little treat. She also helped me around the house, doing the laundry, cleaning and even rearranging the furniture. It was such a blessing. We were also privileged to have our ward bring in meals for an entire week, which was a life saver another huge blessing!! They were so delicious; we were spoiled rotten!

One day I was feeling adventurous and since I had to get ready for a doctor appointment anyway, I had my mom take me to Walmart to get us a few things. I couldn't walk very far or for very long, and so I knew I'd have to have my mom push me in a wheelchair. Well, they only had electric wheelchairs, and so that was my ride around the store. Of course mom wanted to take a picture. I was mortified at first and DID NOT want to see anyone I knew. I quickly realized it wasn't that bad and really was quite convenient to use. I was very grateful for that electric wheelchair. It made my life so much easier. I had to use these multiple times over the next few weeks and it was actually kind of fun haha. Everyone was so nice and polite, especially the employees, it was a whole new Walmart experience.

Many of you may be wondering what ever happened with our baby? I'm happy to report that she is still healthy as can be and growing like a weed. She is quite the little fighter and proved that time and time again. Each time I go to the OB the doctor reminds me that I am so fortunate to still be pregnant as it would've been very natural for me to miscarry after being so sick, in so much pain and my body under so much stress. She saw me weekly for a few weeks after my hospital stay so that she could closely monitor the baby and my weight gain. It took a couple weeks for me to start gaining any weight and she even threatened to put me back in the hospital if I didn't gain weight. I had lost 18 pounds and couldn't remember the last time I weighed so little. I was still looking pretty thin and frail and they were concerned for the baby's sake mainly. I prayed so hard that I wouldn't have to go back to the dreadful place. I ate so much food that next week until my appointment and I gained 6 pounds!!! I had never been so happy to gain weight in my life! I'm still working on gaining back all of the weight I lost, but as along as I gain some at each appointment I keep the doctors happy.

Baby girl gave us a thumbs up, letting us know she's hanging in there for the long haul and doing great. We just love her!

As for my GI or stomach doctor, I am also happy to report good news! Although I was malnourished and my body lacking in so many nutrients I quickly became healthier again and my labs are looking better with each poke. I still have to take a potassium supplement twice a day, my prenatal pill with extra iron, my Humira shots every other week, and B12 shots every other week as well. The part of your stomach that absorbs B12, the ileum, I no longer have as it was all removed, and so my body will probably always be deficient. Kevin gets to give me these shots as I can't administer them myself. The B12 shots I do myself in the abdomen or thigh. The doctor is monitoring my labs closely and keeping an eye to ensure they don't start to go in the wrong direction, even the slightest. My Crohns symptoms have also lessened with time, and for that I am grateful. As my body has healed from surgery I am once again realizing what it feels like to be healthy. For so long I thought my good days were good, but compared to a healthy person, my good days were still bad days for them. Make sense? Pretty much, the surgery is supposed to make my life so much better and it really has! I still have Crohns Disease, however it's kind of in a dormant state and I have to continue taking medication and being monitored by my GI to ensure that I don't start having symptoms and flares again, especially during the rest of this pregnancy. One day, a couple weeks after surgery, I had a sudden realization that I hadn't had a Crohns stomach ache since surgery and how great it was. A definite tender mercy moment for me. I have also seen a huge improvement in my lactose intolerance and can sometimes sneak a small amount of ice cream here and there. Before that was always my worst culprit. The GI is hoping that my Crohns symptoms stay dormant for years to come and that we can prevent another bowel resection for as long as possible. So am I!!

The last update is from the surgeon. I got my staples out two weeks after surgery and I was scared. I had heard that getting staples out hurts but it really didn't, in fact, I could hardly even feel anything except a little tugging here and there. My incision was looking even better at this point but I still had some open holes, so I learned how to doctor them  up. I had to keep those covered until they healed shut, but I could shower and not have to cover anything up at all. I was so happy to take a real shower, and I did just that for about 20 minutes that first day. It was marvelous after weeks of none or few showers. I had to go back one more time to make sure it was healed up, which it was, after 5 weeks post-op. My incision is still somewhat numb, even today, but the doctor said that I may never completely get the feeling back in that area. He was pleased with my progress and wished me well with the baby and sent me on my way. I am SO, SO GRATEFUL for this wonderful surgeon and know for a fact that he was supposed to be the one that did my surgery that dreadful June day. His hands were truly guided by the hand of the Lord that day so that my baby girl was protected and that I would be healthy again. At my last appointment he said that I was lucky he got to me when he did and that I was very, very sick. I feel like he gave me back my life again, at least for now, and for that I am truly grateful.



Still with the staples in

After the staples were removed. It was looking pretty good!

I have learned to be grateful for each piece of good news, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem at the time.

I ended up taking 5 weeks off work for medical leave and when I did go back the middle of July I only worked part time 3-5 hours/day for the first 4 weeks and finally jumped back to my regular full time shift. It was hard to go back and even harder to go back full time, I was scared that I wasn't ready and I was going to overdue it but my employer was amazing and told me to take breaks whenever I needed to and not overdue it. I am so grateful to work for such an amazing company. We were also very blessed financially during my time off work. It was definitely unexpected and a lot of it was unpaid but in a blessing I received shortly after getting out of the hospital, I was promised that we would be blessed and watched over financially and that I shouldn't worry about that but just take care of myself. It was amazing to watch those blessing unfold before our eyes. We have so much to be grateful for! The amazing part was that we have been saving money each month for when the baby comes and I was so disappointed thinking we were going to have to use that and struggle again in a few months but we hardly had to touch our savings and I know that that is a huge tender mercy from our loving Savior.

This experience has been the hardest, most challenging thing I have ever had to endure. Not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. My testimony grew leaps and bounds during this time and I continue to reflect on this experience and am able to recognize more and more blessings each time. Although I am pregnant and that isn't always easy, I haven't felt his great in years! I didn't realize just how sick I was and how badly I needed this surgery.

Once again, I hope that others can read of my experiences and be able to recognize their own blessings and tender mercies a little easier. Trials are not easy, they aren't supposed to be and if we have faith and trust in the Lord we can endure all that is required of us! I know this to be true, now more than ever!!